remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
