there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
