Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
