what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
