I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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