Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
No...this little piggys going to the bar
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
