Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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