I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
