i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
