She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
whose ass print is on the piano?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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