and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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