what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
