I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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