oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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