Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
