if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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