that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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