have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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