my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Dick very happy bro
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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