I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I still have a little drunk in my system
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
