idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
