okay pat passed out under dana's car
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
