it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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