Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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