Tell her she can't have a vagina
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
we're so committed to being not committed
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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