after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
