Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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