Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize