I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
