2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
