wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
