absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
