I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
