Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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