how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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