The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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