I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
