i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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