I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
