If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
