Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
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I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
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Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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