Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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