Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
