I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
