Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize