Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
