Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
