this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
