first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
try to milk me bitch
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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