Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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