Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
