WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
