She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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