wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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