Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize