That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
