I looked at my own cervix.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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