I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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