Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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