I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
