It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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