Pants 0. Shit 1.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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